The Do’s and Dont’s of First dates!

A First Date!

A First Date!

First dates can be tough. Where to go? What to eat? What to wear? What to say and not to say?

The first date is a big one. The biggest. You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, nor do you get a first chance to erase the memory of you spilling some kind of iced beverage down your date’s back.

It is a simple matter of weighing everything- it’s pros and cons. Think before you say anything, but not long enough to make your partner suspicious and at the same time be natural. Herein, lies the trick.

Dating rules are different for girls and boys. While doing some things on a first date is oh-so-wrong (she’s a walking-talking catastrophe!) for a girl it may be perfectly alright for a guy to do.

Let’s start with the very basics. It is the modern world, women yield more power than they used to. So, if you have asked the guy out then kudos to you!(I did!) And even if you haven’t, yield the reins and plan it out. Show him you can take control, but not be dominant and at the end let the “where” seem like his idea (after all he will be spilling the green!). Never ever hurt a man’s ego on the first day. It is his most precious thing. Pretend you can split the bill but in the end let him pay anyway. This way a sense of winning sets into him. And nothing’s sexier than a man gloating over this tiny victory!

Doesn’t matter if it isn’t a five star restaurant say yes to it any way. And guys you do not need to shell out a month’s pay to impress a girl! A small coffee date, or a long walk followed with shared ice-creams is just as romantic and special. Just remember take her someplace you can talk and not spend time doing other activities (so a movie or an amusement park is a big NO NO!).

Dressing down—or  up—too much. Show up in your sweat clothes for coffee , and you’re saying you don’t care what your date thinks about how you look. Wear a cocktail dress when you meet him at the corner ice-cream parlour and you’re saying you’re confused or mildly unbalanced. Ask where you’re going to meet, and if you’re uncertain about the ambience, ask how dressy the place is. If you don’t like asking questions, make it a statement. As in, “I’m going to be pretty casual, if that’s all right.” Ain’t communication wonderful? This way neither you nor he has to be embarrassed.

For a guy being on time is very very important. You don’t want to be late on the very first day. And also being on time will show her how much this means to you. And every girl likes to feel special.

And as for a girl don’t be early. Never be early. Don’t be too late either. But reach after the guy at all times. (Keep him waiting a bit! 😉 ) Not by an hour mind you. A few minutes say around 10…? We don’t want to seem overly enthusiastic nor do we want him to think we are not interested.

The most important part of the evening is keeping the conversation light. Do not talk about diseases and medications. (Like he’d want to know when the last time was you were sniffing hippos!) If the relationship progresses there will be plenty of time later. Do not bring up the ex unless asked! Even then keep it light and quick. You would not have been here if things had worked out. Do not talk about money or family problems.

Do not interview your date. Please don’t ask your date where they see themselves in five years’ time, or what motivates them. It’s supposed to be a date; not an excruciating work appraisal meeting. (Make sure you know where the exists are. At all times.)

Drawing the line between coming out too keen and too aloof is very very tactical.

Flirting is one thing, but don’t wander into ‘I’ve never felt this way about anyone before’ territory on the very first date.(I mean could you have seen anymore romcoms!!)  Equally, talk of marriage, babies, how all your friends are settling down and you feel left out etc. etc. is off the cards. Stay cool. Oh, but it’s a fine line we first daters must tread. If you find yourself looking at your watch during the date, or saying, ‘Meh, if you want,’ when the subject of a second meeting comes up, you’re probably playing it too cool.

The old rules that stipulate you mustn’t talk about politics and religion are out, but you should still avoid talking about sex.

Try and not order messy foods.( do not let them see you opening your mouth to its full proximity to eat a burger or lick sauce off your fingers. It’s gross!).

DOS:

Be genuinely interested- smile every often and nod like you are listening.

Be strong and secure. Self-confidence is contagious, and self-assurance is highly appealing.

Put deodorant.

DON’TS:

Talk fast- let him/her keep up!!

Eat with your mouth open or talk or laugh with your mouth open.

Use up a complete bottle of perfume.

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